I once was lost... and still not found!

Have you ever had one of those days where you felt just a little nuts? That's my every day. Today, however, I am in the more-than-a-little category. I have lost my keys. I used them yesterday, but today they are gone. Vanished. Poof.
I have torn my house apart searching for them. I have been in every closet, every nook, every couch cushion, and every tiny space in our 800 sq ft. house with no luck. In fact, I've been there at least four times now. I had to call my husband at work, which I hate doing, to see if he picked them up or was playing a cruel joke on me. When he got home he went through every closet, nook, cushion, space with about the same luck (he did find his brown belt, so I would say it was slightly luckier for him).
So now I'm sitting here waiting for Divine Intervention. A vision, a clue, something to lead me to my keys and give me that feeling of independence I like so much. Even though I really have no place to be or to go.
Lord help me before I go completely nuts!

All things beautiful in the eyes of the Lord?

Well, the shelf is up and looks great and now I'm back on me. In fact, for the past few weeks I've been getting up sporadically through the week at 5 am to hit the gym. There hasn't been a drastic difference, but there also hasn't been a drastic difference in what's going in my mouth. So I'm toying with the idea of upping the anty so to speak by posting pictures of my physical change here. I'm assuming that no one is reading this blog and it's more cathartic than entertaining so it wouldn't be too embarassing to see myself here. After all I see myself every day. But I'm still a chicken. Though all things may be beautiful in the eyes of te Lord, my fat self is not so appealing to me. Right now my goal is 7 lbs by Thanksgiving. That's about 4 weeks, and I think very do able.
Wish me luck, and hide the cookies!

One step forward, two steps back

In my new experiment of change I've decided that more than just me could benefit. I'm constantly going to be a work in progress, but there are things that can be changed right away. (Sounds like a Martha thing to say huh?) So instead of wallowing in self pity that we currently reside in the crappiest house inside of the worst neighborhood of our base, I thought 'What can we do to make this more like a home?' There is a severe lack of storage space, and space in general here so why not go vertical with some shelves? A shelf to be exact. So I pitch the idea to hubby and he grudgingly goes to the hardware store to pick up a piece of wood and some L brackets. While there we take a trip through the mock kitchens with their gleaming counter tops, beautiful real-wood cabinets, and my oh my, the drawers! One 7 foot section of fake kitchen is about 100 times better than the kitchen I'm looking at right now from our desk. So hubby starts feeling slighted and becomes grumpy about our current abode, and I feed off of him the whole way home. By the time we reach our dirty, tiny, mold infested house we are both completely crabby and toad green with envy about what we're missing out on.
Hubby is on his second trip to the hardware store now to get smaller screws for the new shelf, but we both know it will take more than a shelf to fix this place. It will take a bull dozer. Though I keep telling myself, and him, that this is not our 'home' and one day we won't have to live here anymore, and maybe just maybe one of these days will be able to pick out our own house somewhere, we are we are currently and need to make the best of it. The question is how. And that is where I'm stuck. In my spirit of change I feel pretty down about this place. It's definitely not much, and I'm sure there are worse, and at this moment in time it's all we have. I am fully aware that the only thing that can change about this house is my attitude, and Heaven help me I've tried. I guess we'll just have to try a little harder this time around.
And of course, stay away from fake kitchens.

Oh Ancient of Days

It's been a while. My computers (oh yeah, plural) have been in the shop for nearly a month. All the while I thought, ' NOOOOO!!! I'll have no connection with the outside world!' but really I had more! I didn't lose a single nights sleep over what 'news' I was missing out on, or who's emails I needed to return, or anything for that matter! I have spent more time on the floor with my kid playing ball and clapping, or watching Baby Van Gough than I normally would have and realized that he has grown leaps and bounds this week. My beautiful little boy has at least 4 new words in his vocabulary, to include 'dada', can wave hello and goodbye, and is trying his hardest to clap! What a blessing it has been to step away from the computer and enjoy time soley with him.
We've also gotten out more as a family. For the past two weekends we've done mini road trips and have been able to witness the seasons change in the east. It's been amazing how deep the conversations have been in our car and how off key we each sing! What a blessing it is to be so unconnected.
And how nice it is to have it back!