Just keep swimming!

Yeah, I'm on a movie kick. Ride it out with me.

Dory is easily the best part of Finding Nemo. She's so funny, so upbeat, and so entertaining with her quirky attitude and short term memory loss. I think the line from that movie that is most famous is the title of this post. She and Marlin (that's Nemo's dad, for those of you who are rock dwellers, or don't have children) are on a desperate hunt to find the tiny missing Nemo. They are traveling across the ocean to rescue him from the boat that captured him, and along the way they meet several colorful characters. Now I don't want to ruin the movie for you so, or get sued by Disney, so I won't go into a lot of detail, but through the movie Dory sings "Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!" to pass the time. I'm vaguely aware that this movie was made for children, and am not at all embarrassed to say I've seen it more than once, and before I ever had a child of my own.
Now, I don't know about you, but I have definitely felt like I was a little fish in a mighty pond. A little lost, a little frightened, and a lot crazy! This world can be very overwhelming if you sit and soak it all in at once. It's best to take small sips sometimes so your head doesn't start spinning. Lately I have been thinking about my spiritual life through movies (aka, there will be more movie inspired posts). In this particular movie the short term memory loss that our little, blue heroine is viewed as a determent. I think that in most life situations this condition is a determent even if it's a long time coming, like in dementia patients, but in the spiritual realm it could be the best possible thing to happen to you. How great it would be if my mind thought of nothing but Jesus. If all the nuances of life were just flittering pieces of nothing that float by me while I cheerfully move towards my Lord?! If only! Instead of being drawn into the junk of life, or as an old pastor of mine loved to say 'the minutia of life', I would be able to spend my days joyful and bursting with the Lord's light. Marvelous! When that little fish feeling sets in I could swim right through it constantly focusing on the power of the Almighty.
It reminds me of when Peter stepped out of the boat in Matthew 14:28-32. Peter, a devout follower of Jesus, a man that left his old life with no look backs and no regrets, sees Jesus out on the water and says "If it is you Lord, tell me to come to you!" And when Jesus does, (my own imagination will take over the specifics here) Peter grabs the railing and swings his legs over the side of the boat, probably to the dismay of the other passengers aboard, and everyone stares with eyes wide, none more so than Peter himself as he cautiously takes his first few steps. Suddenly Peter realizes 'Hello?! I'm not capable of doing this! This is insanity! People walk on land not on water! There is no way!' and as these thoughts and doubts begin filling his mind water starts filling his shoes. In this instant Peter loses focus on Jesus and is watching his robes start to float up around him. Panicked he cries out as a last act of desperation "Lord, save me!" Without hesitation Jesus rescues poor Peter who possibly would have suffered a Leo-in-Titanic fate right then and there. How easy it is to lose focus and drown in your own problems and weaknesses! What our dear Peter lacked, our friend Dory is stocked up on. Blind faith. It's the kind of faith that says 'I'm not sure what's happening, or where I'm headed, but take me where You will Lord!' and in saying that you truly lose focus on the worldly surroundings and tunnel in on God's goodness and precious grace.
Alas, I am human and have had and continue to have my fair share of Peter moments. I have felt the water clean up to my chin before calling out to the Lord for a preserver. Unfortunately, I can only guess how many more times I'll be treading water in the highest seas before reaching out to the One that the winds and the waves calm for. But thankfully I serve a God that is never finished with me. He probably doesn't appreciate my own feeble attempts to swim, but never turns away my soaking footprints.
So like the fish (not like Peter!) I'll just try to keep swimming with joy in my every swish as I continue to follow the path to seek out God's will for me, even if it means I have to swim the entire ocean.

We're off to see the Wizard!

Maybe it's just me, but do you ever have a day where your anthem could only be sung best by a man made of straw? Well if I only had a brain I would stop sabotaging my own efforts at change both physically and spiritually. (Let's throw mentally and emotionally in there for good measure) I made up my mind a while back to start this transformation experiment, but apparently I wasn't really ready...
I still eat tons of junk! I didn't do a drop of exercise all last week, and relatively none the week before. I still lose sleep over worry and stress and have long, long narratives in my mind on how to handle things instead of discussing it with the Lord and leaving it there. And I've found that single parenting has brought out my use of four letter words much more than it did when Rob was home. In fact, I'm getting more and more concerned with it as the baby continues to mimic everything I say! That will be fun to explain at his CHURCH school!
And I know, you're sitting here reading these thinking "Hello stupid?! Stop doing them" but you forget, I don't have a brain. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know not to curse in front of my child even at the dog. Even if the dog deserved it. Or not to go ahead and polish off the bag of chips just because they are there. These are basic things!
But there's a blockage somewhere between my common sense and my actual, functioning brain. Blame it on sinuses and lousy weather changes, but my head is both literally (too literally) and figuratively congested. Something is not clicking and kicking me into action instead of just word. After some serious (non)brain racking, I think I have found the core of the problem. Me.
I have reverted to old ways, and old strength and it's definitely not enough. Instead I should be using Ancient ways and Ancient strength. I need to remember that the Lord did not make me to shoulder the weight of the world, but to revel in His glory and spend my time loving His grace! Though the problems I listed above have been created by me and I do need to bare responsibility, I do not have to go at it alone. The Lord wants to help us. He wants to make our yellow brick road straight, and trip to "Oz" a pleasant one.
I may not always have a brain, but I do always have a Father that is willing to help me think. And for that, I am eternally grateful!