I am willing to admit up front that this post is ridiculous, but that doesn't make it any less real.
Last night I cried, no, sobbed myself to sleep. When I told my husband this today he immediately said 'What did I do? Was it bad?' but this time he was in the clear. I cried over the beautiful baby across the hall. He turned two this past weekend, and while I love this stage in his life his birthday was just a reminder that I can't stop time and keep him here forever. One day some girl is going to take my sweet baby away from me, and there will be very little I can do to but smile for the photos and wave as they drive away. I told you this was going to be ridiculous! All I want, and I'm sure all any mother wants for her children is for them to love and be loved and if he finds himself crazy about some wonderful, godly woman I should be, and will be eventually, thrilled beyond belief. For now though, the thought is terryifing! In between my tears and sobs I began to pray for her last night. I don't even know that she is born! But the Lord knows her and I have to trust the Father's instincts on this and quiet the mother's worries. I pray that this girl understands what a precious piece of our lives she'll be responsible for. I pray that she loves the Lord and encourages him to do the same. One day (eek!) I pray that they'll have children that follow in their footsteps and come to know and love Christ. I pray that I will love her and treat her with the respect I would want. More than that, I pray that I like her and that she'll feel comfortable with me not just as her in-law, but as a friend. I trust the Lord will show her to my sweet boy when it is time, and even though I know there will be many tears shed on this end there will also be a whole new person to love. I pray that I will be up for the challenge! I will love the person my son finds worthy of his love. I know I will. But for now, I will relish in every precious and not-so-perfect moment that we have together.
"A daughter's a daughter for all of her live, but a son's a son until he takes a wife."
Is it wrong I want her to be an orphan?
2 comments:
Oh, Kasey...your thoughts are NOT unreasonable. God uses all of these years to prepare us to release our sweet boys when the time comes. I won't lie, being a mom is not only the most rewarding job you'll ever have; but also the most heartbreaking. There will be times of pure joy and times of utter sadness. Relish these days, keeping in mind that our job is to work ourselves out of a job; to prepare our sons to be men of integrity; Godly husbands, fathers, friends...and the road of preparation is never easy. God uses hard times to draw us ever nearer to Him; to teach us things we could never learn otherwise. Yes, your heart will break for them at times; and the only balm to soothe it is to know they are turning to the Father for their strength, comfort and peace.
Having married sons has given me a new perspective, an eye-opening understanding and appreciation of my mother-in-law. I often think what it has been like for her all these years. We have a very good relationship and she has never treated me less than her own but I now KNOW how over the years I should have encouraged Ron to spend time with his parents more, without me. Tho I may be her daughter now, he has been (and always will be) her little boy. And their are times every mom would love to have time just with her boy (without HER, haha!)
And yes, it is imperative that you begin now to pray for the woman God has for your son. I've always prayed that He would uniquely use every aspect of her life to draw her to Himself and to prepare her to be the helpmate my son would need. And while you're at it, pray for Henry that all the circumstances of his life will mold him into the Godly man she will uniquely need as well.
I've also learned, I did my sons an injustice by not adequately preparing them for their wives. I've always prided myself (good grief, there's that awful p-word!) on being a low-maintenance kind of gal, ready and willing to join in with whatever my guys were into...they never really experienced the moodiness and expectations of a girly woman. Prepare Henry! At the least make sure he's around alot of girls who are moody, temperamental, otherwise those first difficult years of marriage are multiplied "exponentially" (as PT would say)! Teach him now the importance of respecting others moods and ways of dealing with things. As he gets older talk about one day when he's married the most important thing he can do is to place his bride first, before anyone/anything else here on earth (yes, including you!)and that two families will be blended stressing one family's way of doing things is not more right than another.
Sorry, didn't mean for this to become a novel...as you can tell this is something near and dear to my heart!
(BTW, you're welcome to delete this comment...this message is meant for you but you know I also believe we are to lead a transparent life so....whatever you think is best!
Love you mucho grande, Kasey! And appreciate your willingness to bare your soul!
How incredibly lucky and blessed I am to have a mentor that so willing holds the torch for me to follow!! Ms. Christie, you are such an interwoven part of my life and soul that your words are absorbed and welcomed. The example and everyday faith that you and Mr. Ron lay out is a constant refreshment and deeply humbling. You will never know the admiration and appreciation I have for you (both of you!), because there is no way to truly express it. Thank you for being such a woman of faith and such an encouragement!!
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